Feelings right now: $%?@#!

Okay.


Calm.

Breathe.

Fuck it.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
Why wont he talk to me?!?!?!

Sorry, angry moment.
Miss him. So much. Too much. ♥


Does he not see how easy all this could be if he just SPOKE to me.

That's all I ask....does he not see that?



I'm not asking for much, just for him to speak or type a few shitting words to me once in a while...about the past or just general chit chat...

I don't care!




Pfft...well it's nearly September, nearly school so, maybe he'll talk then, as he did say he would but...do I really trust him as much as I did?

xo

No, we're not going out with each other.

Everybody around seems to think me and Ross are going out, shagging each other...or SHOULD be going out or shagging each other...

What is wrong with these people?!

I love Ross, I do, he is my best not quite gay man friend <3 :D
Lol.

But yeah, we aren't anything...worries me really. But hey, that's people for you.



Still trying to get over David....hard times, Ross is trying to help me and make me forget him, which also worries me but, he said he doesn't fancy me so...I trust him on that! But yeah...just need to see him and/or talk about all this so I can live my life!!




Times are confusing & shit (:

Greeaaaatt.

xo

AS results.

Umm yeah, not too good...

ICT exam - D
Coursework - U
Yeah...great.

German oral - B
Reading/writing - D
Not too bad.

English - B
Yay, happy with English.

Business unit 1 - B
Business unit 2 - E
Hmm, yeah not so good second time around eh?

Most gutted about ICT I think...never gotten a U...I actually nearly cried. Business wasn't too much better, an E after the B I managed unit 1...pretty annoying...but hey, will just maybe drop either ICT or Business and just retake all of them, maybe not English but would just be cool to get an A hehe.



Party saved my life, was very fun, got many bruises from all the biting but hey, was still so freakin' fun! Haha.



Wish he spoke to me...


Really upset me when we saw each other yet said FUCK ALL...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!




Oh well...shit happens.

xo

EEEP!

Results day is tomorrow.


CRAP.
Actually quite nervous, yet excited. I want to know what I got, but I don't want to fail...

Which I'm sure is the view of most I'm sure.


Stayed at Sara's last night, haven't seen my Sara in a while so was lovely to see her (:
We ate pudding...lots of pudding! Yum...pudding.


Anyways...


Tomorrow: eep.

Sara: iloveyouuu.

Life: fuck it.
It's never gunna happen, I know it, I should give up and be happy with what I have...but...something just wont let me let go...how shit.

Just gunna have to perk up and be happy though...or everything will be worse.

xo

Summer...really?

Okay so...England and summer...don't seem to get along.

It's horrible and raining.


THIS IS NOT SUMMER.

I remember the days when winter was snowy and cold and summer was hot and lovely...
Why did that change?
Stupid weather. Indecisive twat.


Anyway, it happens, can't help that.
Rain can be nice, I quite like rain but sometimes you know, sun would be nice, get a nice tan xD




Still thinking about him.

It wont stop...



GAH.

xo

Twitter?

For some odd reason I made a Twitter account today.

Why not I guess, still like Facebook more but, hey, why not add Twitter to my list of things to check everyday because of my boring, average life :D


It's fine, will give me something extra to do other than The Sims 2 (PC) - AWESOME (need the Sims 3) and listen to music and bum about all day...as that is what I do.

Yeah just thought I'd say.

Still not in the best of moods.


I'll get over it...soon


I'm sure of it.

xo

$&!?#

Feel shit...


Don't know what to do...wanna cry like all the time...

Hate it....
A LOT.


Wish everything was just so fucking easy...I hate this...I hate it I hate it I hate it!!




Why can't I just be happy again...



I miss you....

& you know who you are.


xo

Get out of my head.

Okay, pretty pissed off right now.

Cannot get David out of my head...really annoying...why wont these thoughts fuck off!
I mean, he's clearly not meant to be there...

Is he?


I'm so annoyed and upset and.....just feel so shit.
I want him.
Bad.

Don't know how much longer I can cope with not talking to him, I'm sure I can get over the fact he doesn't want me. Fine. But...I want to talk to him dammit!
Just wish it was easier right now...it's actually giving me a headache.

Been hanging out with Ross again recently, which is nice so yeah, something else to try and keep my mind off David but, if I'm honest...not a lot is working...

xo