:/

Days like this I want to drive away.
I just want to throw my phone away, find out who is really there for me.


I don't want to be at uni any more.
People said I'd regret it if I left, and I probably would but .. I am so unhappy there, it's nothing like I thought it was gunna be. At least when I was emo I attracted the other emos. Being 'normal' means it's so much harder to find someone like you, to be a friend.

I mean, I don't wanna be hasty obviously. I have to figure out WHY I'm so unhappy.
I'm worried it's cos I can't stand to be away from Ross. But after thinking about it, I do hate that, however I don't think it's entirely the reason...

I don't wanna disappoint mum and dad.
I have no friends, haven't clicked with anyone and it's been a while.
I love the course but lately I am not even bothered about missing lectures.
It's gunna rack up so much debt I don't know if I am willing to have.
My flatmates don't seem to appreciate a tidy and CLEAN flat.
I have no one to live with next year.

I just don't think it's for me.

I had an idea that if I dropped out I would cut my hair, dye it lighter (browny blonde?) and just get a job.
Try and start anew. Be a new Sam. With Ross; at least then if all goes to shit I have him to run to...

But I don't think I can ever be the Sam I WANT to be...but I'd certainly like to try, but I don't think it'll happen at university...  :/

xo