Uni life .. again ♥

Well so far I am enjoying my course - which is a PLUS

I also joined the linguistics society so hopefully I'll make some new friends in that, because I decided today that I need to get a life.

My two course friends are Laura and Amy - both nice, Amy does miss a few lectures though, silly, lazy girl haha and Laura is a laugh haha, so yeah that's alright, at least I'm not alone on the course as I am generally, but who knows maybe our relationship will improve in time ..

But yeah, all is well so far, got 3 courseworks due in 14/15th December and one 17th January so that's fun! I have made a plan for one .. so I kind of need to get cracking on that really but you know! I'll get there. I'm going to the library a lot more now so I should get more done!

I am also going to the GYM! Woo, trying to get fit and thin and sexy haha! (even though Ross says I don't need to .. but he has to say that!)

But yeah that's all so far, more news when I have some!!


Oh yeah .. my laundry was stuck in the washing machine for 26 hours .. was PISSED OFF .. but it's fine now =)


BYE

xo

Stupidly happy ♥

I feel so close to you right now, it's a force field
I wear my heart upon my sleeve like a big deal
Your love pours down on me, surround me like a waterfall
& there's no stopping us right now
I feel so close to you right now...


I don't quite get it...
Maybe it's my hormones being nice for a change
But I am stupidly happy with Ross right now.

Yeah uni and making friends is still a struggle, but that doesn't seem to matter anymore...

I can't help but stupidly smile to myself when I think about him...
Which is a lot so I must look like a dick half the time!
But I don't care.
I love him.
And I can't wait to move in with him and get married and have kids and a cat and a dog and a rabbit (this has been discussed!)

What makes it better is he seems to feel pretty good about us too =)
Which gives me more confidence!

I'm really feeling this one...I may have only had 2 before him but...I now know everything I felt for them was fake...this is the real deal.


*happy sigh*
♥ ☻ X x

Uni life so far...

Right well I am now officially a student at the University of the West of England!

Flatmates are nice - Stephanie, Alex, Alex and Will.
Block people are good too, we got quite a good block going tbf.

Haven't actually been drunk yet...damn my lack of trust and spontaneous-ness haha.
Nah it's still been fun though, we all get on pretty well.


Had the fresher's fair today - that was fun - so much free stuff! It was great! Loads of posters and bottle openers and stickers haha! All sorts really...I really did enjoy, had a couple of cheeky free shots as well...good times!

But yes uni is going well thus far...let's see how it is once lectures start =)

PEACEE xD haha.

Fairytales?

We're speaking different voices
We're fighting with the ones we've loved
We're speaking different voices
Why can't we say what we're thinking of


I've missed the part
Now that you've told me everything
And I was lost
And I'd forgotten how to love


You said you'd never tell


When you're on your way down
Feeling the blow
And you're waiting for your body's re-entry again...


Got a nice chat from Ross ..

I need a reality check.



Why can't we make life a fairytale?
I know what I want ..
But it seems, having a job, and a really romancey boyfriend, and being a success is too much to ask.

I know he's had like loads of girlfriends but . what am I just not special enough to be treated like a princess?
He says I'm his princess but .. only in HIS eyes .. to me I'm just some girl he can't lie in bed with, stare into her eyes and tell her how much he loves her..

But that's me. See I NEED a reality check.

xo

Fucking hormones!!!

Happy all week ..

Ross goes to cinema with his mates, when I say hang with your mates ..

I cry.


He said we might all meet up after my driving but they went to the cinema ..

Just gutted, would've liked to try and get on with his mates ..

Ah well, fuck it.
I have essays to do.

xo

The Edge of Glory ♥

I need a man that thinks it's right when it's so wrong

Tonight yeah baby, tonight yeah baby

Right on the limits where we know we both belong tonight

It's hard to feel the rush

To push the dangerous

I'm gunna run right to, to the edge with you

Where we can both fall far in love

I'm on the edge, of glory

& I'm hanging on a moment of truth

I'm on the edge, of glory

& I'm hanging on a moment with you

I'm on the edge with you

Well, I am in a fantastic mood, which is a nice change, hopefully it will stick for when I see Ross tomorrow, didn't see him today, and don't want my good mood to go to waste!

German orals are DONE! Yes nowww!!

That's a nice relief.

Could be a part of why my mood is so good. 

Going out for dinner with Ross on Saturday, cos I want to :D

I fancy a night out, just a quiet one, with Ross =)

♥ xo

FFFFFFFF!

Pretty stressed atm
But hey ho .. there are people worse off ..

Actually; I don't care .
I'm sick of people saying that "there are people worse off than you" yeah .. fab, great, I'm so sorry for that, but it's not concern of mine unless they are my FRIEND .. Fuck sake, can I never have a real problem with at least ONE person taking it seriously?!

Going Cheltenham with Kirstie and that lot tomorrow though; which will be nice .
She said I sounded like I needed retail therapy ..

Oooh .. I do hate how I am someti- all the time .

xo

Sam time .

Well since Ross is on holiday

I've been clubbing with people (even if I did have a breakdown ..)

And Rachel coming round is still unknown

I'm getting a lot of Sam time
Which is nice .

Have been doing some crunches and just light working out, eating chicken caesar salads (YUM) and watching Come Dine With Me + a half hour or so on the Wii .. it's alright .

Am missing Ross though; muchly .

My life really does revolve around him haha .. but, despite missing him, I do enjoy some time to myself .
Might suggest to him not seeing him like everyday, maybe have days where he sees his friends instead of me sometimes .. see how that goes, would be good for him too .

I might not like it when it happens lol but hey ho .



Also I need glasses haha xD to like read and for computers and stuff xD
To help me focus :D

Should get 'em in just over a week ... want them now though !! Haha .

xo

I can't handle it when I turn off my night light...

In the limelight
I play it off fine
But I can't handle it
When I turn off my night light


Failure of a daughter

Failure of a girlfriend

Failure of a student...


Why can't just fucking gather myself?!
SORT IT OUT SAM!!!!



Fuck.



xo

Just a little unstable...

Just a little...


Like a smidge...


Not enough to worry people.


The crying will stop soon enough.

xo

Stupid arrogant, deceitful men.

You don't have to be held down, 
Be held down, be held down, be held down.
Cos I used to be a shell,
Yeah I let him rule my world, my world, oh yeah,
But I woke up and grew strong
And I can still go on
And no one can take my pearl!
You don't have to be a shell,
No, you're the one that rules your world, oh.
You are strong and you'll learn
That you can still go on
And you'll always be a pearl...
She is unstoppable.


I tried.
That's it.

He wants to be an arrogant prick. Fine.

I'm not risking my perfect relationship for him again.
Fuck. That. Shit.


Ross is too amazing for that.

He's not worth it.

I realise now. Finally.

xo

26/03/11...

UWE open day yesterday...
Was quite nice there, the course looks really interesting =)
Hopefully I get the grades...


Something's gone terribly wrong
Can't turn back now I'm haunted...


Saturday night. Luke's Party.

Was pretty fun, got to hang with Kirstie & Matt and people I haven't hung with in so long, loved it.
But...David...

We chatted and shizz...he says he'll talk to me but...we'll see.
Had many Tequila Rosé shots...and vodka...danced a lot...

I should have stayed away.


Seeing Ross soon...
We need some chats, and I really need a hug...
Confused & hungover...blurgh.

I love him, need him to make it go away... x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

♥

I Love You

La La
La La La La


I like your smile
I like your vibe
I like your style
But that's not why I love you


I, I like the way
You're such a star
But that's not why I love you


Hey, do you feel?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel too?
Do you need?
Do you need me?


You're so beautiful
But that's not why I love you
I'm not sure you know
That the reason I love you is you
Being you 
Just you
Yeah the reason I love you is
All that we've been through
& that's why I love you


La La
La La La La


I like the way
You misbehave
When we get wasted
But that's not why I love you


And how 
You keep your cool
When I am complicated
But that's not why I love you


Hey, do you feel?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel what I feel too?
Do you need?
Do you need me?

You're so beautiful

But that's not why I love you

I'm not sure you know

That the reason I love you is you

Being you 

Just you

Yeah the reason I love you is

All that we've been through

& that's why I love you

Yeah, oh, oh

Even if we never make it through

I am always here for you

You're so beautiful

But that's not why I love you

I'm not sure you know

That the reason I love you is you

Being you 

Just you

Yeah the reason I love you is

All that we've been through

& that's why I love you

La La

La La La La

That's why I love you

Oh, oh

That's why I love you

♥

Innocent.

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
You're still an innocent

There's some things you can't speak of
But tonight you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new

It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent


Lost your balance on a tightrope...
It's never too late to get it back...
♥


xo

You are the best thing that's ever been mine ♥

I ran out cryin'
& you followed me out into the street...
Braced myself for the goodbye
Cos that's all I've ever know
& you took me by surprise...
You said I'll never leave you alone...


♥

You made a rebel of a careless man's, careful daughter
You are the best thing, that's ever been mine


♥
xo

Come on show 'em what you're worth.

Cos baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
As you shoot across the sky-y-y


Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colours burst
Make 'em go oh, oh, oh
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe



I wanna be better than this;
Fitter, stronger, faster, smarter.

I wanna be a firework but I don't think I've got the sparks...


You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew, what the future holds
After a hurricane, comes a rainbow ♥


I wanna be that girl they look at and go...wow...

xo

Ich weiss nicht...

Ich weiss nicht, was ich will von Leben.
Ich habe Angst vor der Zukunft...
Kann ich selbstständig leben, ohne mein Eltern?

Ich bin besorgte dass ich kann es nicht machen...

xo

ABC.

English - A
Buss2 - B
Buss3 - C

Not bad, so fucking chuffed with my A!
And Buss3 I can retake in summer :D


Pretty chuffed. Could of been better, but it's not bad
Not bad at all =)

xo

Ummmm...

Don't lose it all
In the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving
Dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay...


Sometimes it's hard
To follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are.


I get my first A2 results back on Thursday...craaaaap.
I hope I've done well, if not, bye bye Uni.
It's actually really stressing me out, I don't know what to do with my life.

Why am I even going to Uni?
What do I plan to do?
Why am I freakin' bothering?!

Ah well, I'm sure it'll all be clear on Thursday.

Never Grow Up.♥

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what is sounded like what your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I had is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my nightlight on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh I don't wanna grow up
Wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up
It could still be simple...






Really dreading this...
=/


♥ 

I was enchanted to meet you...

And it was enchanting to meet youuuu
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet youuuu
This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm one to strut, blushing all the way home
I'll stand forever wondering if you know
I was enchanted to meet youuuu


Well things with Ross are great tbh.

He's so amazing and lovely and nice to me =)
So glad he chose ME, of all people, ME.
Lucky girl I am right now.

Might be taking him clubbing Saturday, finally if the snow holds out haha xD

Life is just getting better tbf, I'm rebuilding relationships with Matt and Kirstie again, it's nice =)

Quite happy Sammy atm.

xo

Off to Brixham.

Well, after my English retake tomorrow
Me and Ross will be off to Brixham
To see his dad...

Pretty anxious.
Excited & nervous.
Cos I'm an awkward nervous and shy person xD

But it will be a nice little getaway for a while!

Which I need.


Badly!

So yes =)
I look forward to it.
& it's a week with my Rossie =)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tied Together With a Smile.♥

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty Is the face in the mirror looking back at you You walk around here thinking you're not pretty But that's not true, cause I know you Hold on baby you're losing it The water's high you're jumping in to it And letting go and no one knows That you cry but you don't tell anyone That you might not be the golden one And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone I guess its true that love is all you wanted Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change Hoping it will end up in his pocket But it leaves you out like a penny in the rain Oh cause it's not his price to pay It's not his price to pay Hold on baby you're losing it The water's high you're jumping in to it And letting go and no one knows That you cry but you don't tell anyone That you might not be the golden one And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone oh oh oh oh Hold on baby you're losing it The water's high you're jumping in to it And letting go and no one knows That you cry but you don't tell anyone That you might not be the golden one And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone oh oh oh oh You're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone oh oh oh Goodbye baby, with a smile, baby, baby oh oh

Today Was a Fairytale.♥

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand
And you'd pick me up at 6
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty
When I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air
It must've been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must've been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must've been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You got a smile
Takes me to another planet
Every move you make
Everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
All that I can say
Is now it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sensee
Till the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around, yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air

It must've been the way you kissed me

Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must've been the way

Today was a fairytale

It must've been the way

Today was a fairytale

Time slows down

Whenever you're around

I can feel my heart

It's beating in my chest

Did you feel it

I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air

It must've been the way you kissed me

Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must've been the waaaayy

But can you feel this magic in the air

It must've been the way you kissed me

Fell in love when I saw you standing there

It must've been the way

Today was a fairytale

It must've been the way

Today was a fairytale

Oh, oh, yeah, oh.

Today was a fairytale.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥